j. and I made pasta e broccoli last night for dinner and I commented to him as he served me a steaming hot portion in our beautiful white pasta bowls, “This is the last time we’ll be making this dish together as an unmarried couple.” And after I said it, I felt both a pang of loss as I realized we won’t ever be in this place again, an engaged and naive couple, but I also felt excitement as we get ready to head to Toronto (me on Saturday, j. on Tuesday) for our “wedding week bender” as j. has happily referred to it.
And it will be a bender indeed with many last minute details to attend to and much fun planned with our wedding party and families. I have admittedly been a little crazed these last couple of days before I leave (ok, uh, I’ve been through several crazed periods during the time we’ve been planning this wedding), but a lot of it has to do with how incredibly excited I am to see everyone who is coming to our wedding, and to immerse myself in this wedding week bender and our wedding day.
I have had difficulty finding the words to articulate precisely the range of emotions I have been experiencing lately about this event and the whole process we’ve gone through to get to our wedding day. All I can say for certain is I am so thrilled that we are doing this and about how we are doing this. Eloping would have been easy, less costly and yes, less stressful, but I’ve never been about the easy way out. I’ve stuck by my motto to seize the day, and oh boy, me and j. will have some good stories to tell our kids about the crazy yet lovely time we had to get ourselves hitched.
As you can tell, neither of j. or I has spent much time posting to PB in over a month (and it’s been even longer on Flickr, oops). I don’t feel bad about letting this space languish for a bit because I’ve been more interested in enjoying what we can of Chicago and our friends here, all while we make our plans for the wedding and for the future. A part of the future has included working on our masters projects (we’re aiming for December 2006 graduation) and planning our Route 66/Highway 1 honeymoon. But we also have been making progress on some of other scrumptious plans… I’ll leave it at that and spill the beans on those plans closer to when we’ve firmed up the details of what we have up our sleeves…
For now, even though I’m still in Chi-town, my head is already in Toronto and lapping up all that waits for me there. I’m keeping my heart here until I get on the plane tomorrow. Here, because that is where j. is, because wherever he is where I want to be.
